Flames to Dust, Lovers to Friends. Why do all good things come to an end?

I just can't get rid of that song in my head now.But still a pretty sad song,isn't it?
While waiting for all the photos to be uploaded, I shall talk... figuratively speaking.

What's over, I have no wish to repeat but I thought I should perhaps just update a few precious souls who still read here.
Hurdles over hurdles. That's how a relationship is tested.
I almost thought that this Jurong Birdpark trip is gonna blow to dust when I trashed things out with him. Quite unlike me but you gotta admit that talking is still better than not.
You don't expect things to go away or become better and the other party would understand without talking or rather communicating.

"You are selfish."
That is what I told Jason 3 nights ago. What was intended to be a good piece of news became one that thwarted me.
What happened was Jason was asked to sign with the biggest club in Singapore(Whichever that is) and he will decided to put his job searching till October.

If I am NOT selfish, I would have been happy for him. I never expect Jason to give up sports for me, although I wish sometimes. Sports was there before me. Their "relationship" is much longer than ours that I feel it has taken so much of him. I don't have to blah about the years of glory he had because of sports.
I wish I can like sports too, if even better, his sports. I don't. I am not a sports person so I tried to be as understanding as I can towards his commitment towards sports.

I remembered my friends asking how do I stand it? How do I take it when Jason is always so busy with his trainings? It's not that I don't feel it...I am just waiting. Because I know how much he loves this and I know that this training thing won't go on forever.
The days that I wanted would soon come to me. Meeting after work, saving money for a common future together, not to feel bad over dates that budget is a concern(and realistically a spoiler at times.)etc....
These days may not be as nice as now but still is a stage we will come to, if we will.

I considered myself waiting for Jason longer than I should. Another 0.5 year in school, another 0.5 year in army. Finally July is coming and I thought it's about time.
And hearing that news from Jason is not at all as great as he thought to be.

I thought he is being selfish when he expects me to understand, he expects me to "give the green lights" when my say is not part of the deal at all. I flared up when I heard him saying "Just let me do it once last time..."I literally shouted at him over the phone.

It's not that I can't wait. What is another 2-3 months to me when I have come this far,waiting and enduring the loneliness and the time he can't give?
Remember they always say women bear grudges and remember things?I thought that happened cos' disappointment was brought to them again and again. That's why.
I remembered feeling sore, sad, disappointed and what have you of his soccer over and over again. 4 years is how long we have stayed together and 4 years is how long I have been wanting to get over this.

I thought what do I get in return? I have been wanting Jason to bring me the small acts of love and romances me.Not enough time? It's okay but I want the love doubled during the time he has for me.

The second night he dared not call me. So I called and I trashed things over again. You know how you can't take an angry man's words for real but sometimes it reflected how much a person thinks he is being deprived of.
I told him I am sick of reminding and waiting for what I want and I am not happy anymore.

Now the latter is an angry man's words. It can't be true. I have not been happy not because of Jason solely. I created the mess myself and I ain't perfect lover. But the latter hurts him.

So blah blah de blah, we had 2 hurt souls. I told him that this is one last compromise. I let him do what he want with this soccer and if I still feel the way that I do, I feel there is no point of readdressing this issue anymore.
Words coded in words and I wondered why did I said that? IS that what I want?
What's done is done and what's said can't be taken back if you want to be taken seriously.

"You got it." He told me.
And so we begun our 47th month on this one last compromise.

Jurong Birdpark resumed and my first time seeing penguins.

Dunno where to start so just sui pian lah. (Ps:Not in Friendster de.)


Lory. It always amaze me that how colourful birds can be but honestly I am not too fond of birds. God's creation of animal that can be the nearest to heaven but they attack pretty hard with the beaks too.


I'm pretty scared that they will flew to me outta the sudden hence the plastic smile.


Ostrich. And then I'm worried that they will attack me cos' I'm in red.


Ostrich egg. Also my first time seeing a "live" one. The one in Science Centre doesn't count!

And I'm eating it. Hahaha.

Stupid ah neh with poor photo taking skills. Where is the waterfall and our faces?

I was a lil irked by the ah nehs over there. (They love birds so much?) There is one that suddenly just hand me his mobile and say "Press here" when I was waiting for Jason to help the malay family(who helped us to take photo) with their turn. What the fuck?! I could have threw his handphone to the pond loh.

Swans, totally ignoring me.The only 2 I saw around.


This is so funny!


Flamingoes. Don't tell me that flamingo in pural is not spell like this. I dunno lah.

Just in time for the bird show.

Finally the penguins! I dun want to post this one at Friendster cos' I looked as if I am a merlion. I am not!!!!Just the way I stood. =(

Whahaha..so cute!!!


No, they are not baby penguins. Some birds that live together with them, I guess.


BABY PENGUIN!!!!!!!!!!


Antartica. Yea,right.

That's enough for tonight.

Tomorrow's Monday again. Sob. Everyone, jia you ba.


Ajisen Ramen. I'm loving it.

Lazy vain gal's hope.

You know what pull us at the end of the day? We still apologise to each other and we know this is not meant to end. Not this way...yet?

=)

(Forget about the unequal sizes of pictures la..sui pian lah.)